I’ve spent a lot of time feeling defeated and thinking I have to make up for lost time. I’ve lacked focus and clarity and it’s been challenging to change my perspective and do the work. I wish I could say the path has been exciting and at least a bit easier but I can’t. I remember when my youngest son was two years old. At that point I’d been home since he was born. It was the right choice at the time but eventually, I wanted, and needed more. I wanted to return back to my professional life. It’s taken me a while to get here (he’s eight now) and the reality is I don’t know I would have if I had not experienced some of the worst days of my personal life. At the same time, I underestimated how conflicted I would be. I am fully responsible for the effort I put into myself professionally. In a previous blog post I shared how I used to accept mediocrity. I’ve never had the “village” to help out with my kids. My marriage ended in divorce. For a while I just accepted the “this is all I can do” mindset when I desperately wanted more. I could not see another option. I had been choosing this and I didn’t even realize it. Had it not been for the resource that my faith is for me, not only would I not have made it out of my personal desert, but I also would have never made it out of my professional one. So let’s get rid of the fluff. It’s about doing the work. Developing a professional focus, continuously finding clarity, and adjusting your perspective daily. You will fail and fall short of plans and expectations. Even so, that’s not the end.
Clearing the clutter.
Have you ever thought about the individual things you focus on daily? I read a book called “Winning the War in Your Mind: Change Your Thinking, Change Your Life” and the very first chapter asked me to take a thought inventory. This involved me making notes about the specific thoughts I had about things that were happening as my day unfolded. In this process, I found that the clutter in my mind was coming from me. The biggest thing that stood out was that I often condemned myself before I even missed the mark on something. I regularly chastised myself for not attaining what thought I was capable of while at the same time over scheduling myself and filling the little time I did have open with mindless moments because I was just that unclear about who I was and where I was going. Two things had to happen for me to become clear:
- I had to become disciplined. Focus does not equal easy!
- I had to decide what I wanted. There goes that clarity thing again!
Sounds simple enough, right? Often, these are the most difficult to attain – the simple things.
Let’s talk about tools.
“Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishment.”
Jim Rohn
Often we think we are disciplined when we’re not. Focus does not equal easy and busy does not equal discipline. If I wake up at 5am but don’t get out of bed for an hour, inevitability, something I desired to accomplish won’t get done. I’ve waisted the hour that I probably needed. How important is that desire? Do I want to reach the goal or do I want to face the fact that I didn’t get there because I was not disciplined in managing my time? Facing this isn’t necessarily bad but if it’s a continuous thing, there is an issue. Failing will happen. It just shouldn’t be our norm. A goal is fruitless without discipline.
Routine increases your ability to commit and discipline takes commitment. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not glossing over how difficult it is to be disciplined. This blog post was supposed to be published nearly two weeks ago! I’m here to tell you, it is hard, you will fail at times, but you will also get up and keep going if you choose.
We have a ton of access to tools to help us become more disciplined, organized, and simplified. Here are a few key tools (and techniques):
- Time block. Even if this is time set aside just for thinking. As little as ten minutes goes a long way.
- Notebook or journal. You need to write it down! Goals, visions, mistakes, desires – all of it.
- Networking + relationship building. Top tier of importance! When you need clarity these connections will be able to help you make decisions. Find professional groups and organizations to visit or join. Follow key people on Instagram, Twitter, and LinkedIn, YouTube. Make social media work for you. These platforms do not just exist for mindless scrolling.
- Read, learn, grow. Who has the time, right? Make the time. You can’t do what you don’t know how to do. I’ve linked some of my current reads below but don’t stop there. Find and attend seminar’s, events and other talks and meetup opportunities. Many can be done virtually and don’t have to be in real time.
- Build a routine. Do it everyday no matter what it looks like.
Make a choice.
I’ve spent many years dreaming about where I’ll go professionally. Then, for one reason or another, the path slowed, stopped, or changed. That’s not always a bad thing, but I reached a point where I was stuck in my thoughts, unable to make a choice. This is pivotal to recognize. I needed to change my perspective and get to know me. Without this, there would be no development. Only spinning and hitting walls. Change the narrative by changing your actions. Read the books, do the networking, form the relationships. These are active choices that will help you clarify what you want. We don’t all grow up with a clear picture of who we are, understanding natural talents and abilities, or what opportunities are available to help us reach our full potential. For many, it comes down to our choices when we are old enough to make them on our own. I don’t regret not having reached this place earlier in life but I do struggle with adjusting the framework of my own mind which often tells me my time has passed. Your time has not passed if God is still presenting you with opportunities! Don’t get stuck on your age, experience, or credentials. There is no limit to when you can start doing the work. I didn’t always grasp this. In fact, earlier this year, a friend sat me down and literally read off the names of several famous people who reached their mark or started their mark around 4o years old! Need to blow your own mind for a minute? Google that!
Spirit +Soul
Are you a person of Faith? If your answer is yes you already know what I’m going to say here. You NEED to start with your relationship with God. Just like He is the beginning and the end, our walk with God is the beginning and the end of everything we choose to do. There is no way to keep coming back if you are trying to do it strictly on your own. You have to know what He has given you and who He says you are. Having a relationship with God doesn’t mean your life will be without struggle. It means you will never run out of new beginnings! It means there will always be a way for you. If you are not a person who feels connected to Faith, I’m not here to judge, and I still encourage you to tap in. You never know what you’re missing until you try it. God is for you. He is for all of us. We are here, each with a purpose predetermined for our lives. Our spirits need to be cared for in order for our souls to thrive. We have to be tuned into something other than ourselves to live out our true calling. It’s not your age, experience, or credentials. It’s how your spirit fills your soul.
A healthy spirit conquers adversity, but what can you do when the spirit is crushed? Proverbs 18:14
Here’s what I’m currently reading – Click the title links to purchase on Amazon.
- Moving Forward – Stephanie Ike
- Next Move, Best Move – Transitioning Into a Career You’ll Love , Kimberly B. Cummings
- Winning the War in Your Mind: Change Your Thinking, Change Your Life, Craig Groeschel
Leave a Comment