Sometimes, you just want feel special. Even if just for a day. I get it.
For a while, special days (holiday’s) were only reminders of how unloved I was or felt. During my separation, leading up to my divorce, one of the most difficult feelings I had to navigate was simply feeling unloved. Being alone was difficult to accept. There was no one sending flowers or writing cards. No one to go to dinner with or see a movie. Just me. Not that those were the things that mattered most but think of it as adding insult to injury. I definitely felt as sad as it sounds! Holiday’s in general were just tough to get use to.
Happy Valentine’s Day Sis – You Can, and Should Love Yourself Too
I’m so grateful for sons who have open hearts for giving and showing love to their mom, but it’s weird when you start to feel like that burden is on them. The responsibility of making sure I’m loved. I don’t think they knew it right away, but they naturally began to think about caring for me when our life became different. What caused me the most anguish was feeling inadequate. Like I couldn’t show them what love actually looked like in the construct of a marriage. The mind can lead you to believe all sorts of things when you are most vulnerable. I’ve always shown them love, especially on holidays. I enjoy giving to others in general. The problem was not that I couldn’t show them what love looked like – I do that constantly. The real problem for me was that there was no one showing them what it looked like to love me. How would they know how to love someone else in relationships? Pause sis, just take a breath because Valentine’s Day should not put that type of pressure on your heart.
It has taken some time but here’s my revelation – they can, and they will see what it looks like for someone to love me completely and learn to love in relationships as they become adults. It starts with me loving myself.
Leave the pity party behind. Love yourself because you should.
This is not a pity party! In all of that, I accepted something I already knew and chose not to deal with. The fact was, I never really knew what feeling loved was. I entered into a marriage in pieces that no one else could put together for me. In this I realized I never truly loved myself. So here I am – finally. Three years after I walked into a world where there was only me, finally knowing what it is to love and celebrate me. Finally knowing what it feels like to appreciate me without someone else’s approval.
Coming from a place where love seemed to live forced me to realize that it wasn’t just what I lost in the divorce. It was also, maybe even more so, what I entered the marriage without. No one, not a single soul in this earth can fulfill what you never had for yourself. For the first time ever, this year I am celebrating me! Regardless of how or why you find yourself single, this year on Valentine’s Day, show yourself some love.
Nothing crazy to see here.
So what’s different today from three years ago? I know the love of God and I absolutely know how to love myself too. You don’t have to wait for others to show you what love is or to make you feel valuable. It’s something we should naturally give ourselves. No one can give us something we don’t even have for ourselves. This year I chose to spoil me. Nothing crazy! Just treated myself to some of my favorite things and simply showed myself some love. I took the time to appreciate myself, and that is a gift that no one else can give me if I don’t know how to treat myself.
Here are a few treat yourself gift ideas.
[show_shopthepost_widget id=”4695008″]
[show_shopthepost_widget id=”4695010″]
[show_shopthepost_widget id=”4695012″]
This post contains commissionable links.
Leave a Comment